Sextortion: Online Coercion and Blackmail

Being connected to your friends, family, and everyone else online can be awesome! But it’s important to remember that online, not everyone is who they say they are. And nothing we do online is really private, including emails, text messages and even the apps you use on your own phone!

You might have heard the word ‘sextortion’, sometimes called online ‘blackmail’. Sextortion is when a person online threatens to share explicit (naked or sexual) images, private or embarrassing information online, or threatens to harm someone if a person doesn’t follow demands. These demands often include sending money with an app, taking naked or sexual pictures or videos, or other illegal activities. These threats come from different types of people, for example, strangers you meet online, a person pretending to be someone else online, and past romantic or sexual partners. These threats are attempts to harass, embarrass, and control victims and it is illegal (against the law).

Oftentimes the harasser reaches out to a young person on a social media app or gaming platform. Recently there has been an increase in sextortion targeting boys; often in these situations boys don’t feel like they can get help, don’t know who to tell, and don’t know how to manage feelings of embarrassment. The harasser could be (or be pretending to be) any gender and any age. Often they will friend multiple people within a community or school to gain mutual friends and appear trusted before contacting potential victims. Some red flags that a message might be sextortion are: the person says “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”, the person pretends to be from a modeling agency and requests pictures, the person uses photos that have been photoshopped to seem real, the person wants to quickly develop a romantic relationship, or they use multiple (fake) identities to contact you. In addition, the person might also make threats or do things like, “ I will make you (or the picture/video) go viral”, take a screenshot of your location and say “I know where you live” or “murderers are waiting outside for you (or your family)”, “I will tell your family you sexually assaulted someone”, or “I need the money for a sick family member”. All of these are lies meant to upset and disturb people so they will react and trick them into giving the blackmailer what they want.

If you (or a friend) are experiencing sextortion or any other type of online abuse or harassment, it is important to follow a few steps to protect yourself. First, only accept friend requests from people you know in real life, even if you have mutual friends. If you still receive a threatening message, stop responding immediately. Even if the messages get more scary or threatening, not responding is the best way to end the interaction. Remember, the person on the other end is not who they say they are, and are trying to scare you into giving them money. Next, talk to a trusted adult and let them know you received the message. Even if the message is embarrassing, sexual, or illegal, a trusted adult can help guide you through the process of blocking and reporting the harassment. You should always report any abusive or harassing messages to the platform (app, game, etc), most platforms allow you to block messages from a specific user. You should also report the harassment, abuse, or sextortion to the authorities. Finally, you and your trusted adult should make a plan of action just in case the photos/videos do get shared online. There are resources to help you and your family remove unwanted online pictures. For example you can contact Take It Down; this service is one step you can take to help remove online nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit photos and videos of minors

There are also some important “Don’t” if sextortion happens to you: 1-Don’t delete images or messages, these can be used as evidence by the authorities in the future and 2-Don’t pay money to the harassers. Often they will continue to ask for increasingly larger amounts of money with threats of releasing the information, photos, or videos. And 3-do NOT forward or share the images with anyone other than a trusted adult and law enforcement. Sharing nude pictures of minors (people under 18) is child pornography, even if the pictures are of yourself.

The most important thing to remember about sextortion is that it is NOT your fault, and there is support to get you through. Even though experiencing sextortion might feel embarrassing, shameful, or hopeless, you are not to blame, and these feelings are temporary and will change as time goes on. As we continue to use social media and gaming apps regularly as a society, there is an increase in people that are harassing or using sextortion against young people. The good news is, there are also people out there to support you and help you get out of these scary situations. Talking to your trusted adult is the best way to get help and stay safe when things happen on the internet.

Additional resources:

If you or someone you know is experiencing sextortion, get help here.

• Make a report to NCMEC’s Cybertipline at report.cybertip.org, or reach out to NCMEC for support at [email protected] or 1-800-THELOST.
• More information and sextortion resources from NCMEC.
• Make a report to Take It Down (NCMEC) to notify companies to take images down.
• Visit Thorn’s Stop Sextortion for more resources.
• Read more information about sextortion on Thorn’s blog.

Get help now: Text “THORN” to 741741 for anonymous support from a trained counselor.

• Take NoFiltr’s POV quiz to test your knowledge.
• Visit NoFiltr for more resources and advice to navigate risky situations online.
• Share StopSextortion Tips for Friends
• Follow NoFiltr on TikTok and YouTube to join a community of young people at NoFiltr.