Porn Is Not Sex Ed

There is no consensus among researchers about the impact of pornography on young people’s attitudes and relationships, but at some point, many young people will accidentally stumble upon sexually explicit images or pornography online. One way that adults can help prepare young people, if and when they do come across this content, is to talk with them. Acknowledge that there is content online that is not appropriate for them and speak openly with them if you find they have seen pornography.

If your child stumbles upon porn, it’s important to affirm that it’s not their fault, so that they don’t feel guilty about what they’ve seen. If your child has sought out this content, normalize the desire and curiosity around looking at porn. This can help minimize shame and secrecy.

It is also important to explain that porn is fiction and what they see in porn is not how sexual experiences are in real life. The body types they see in porn can be unrealistic, and some of the sexual behaviors are not common in many romantic relationships. The examples of sexual relationships that lack intimacy, trust and respect don’t reflect what is healthiest for most people. It is important to provide information to help children put what they have seen in context and to redirect them to information they can trust. Use this as an opportunity to educate them instead of disciplining them.

CONVERSATION STARTERS

If you start essential conversations about topics like pornography with your children, then they will know they can come to you with questions. The easiest way to start these conversations is to talk about issues as they come up in everyday life.

Here are some ways to start these conversations: