Finding Support for Intimate Partner Violence
Intimate partner violence (IPV), sometimes called teen dating violence or domestic violence, is when a person behaves in a way to control another person in an intimate relationship. This video defines intimate partner violence, discusses ways to get help from people at school, family members, or even the community, and shares the importance of trying to try and help someone you know by accessing resources and help to get out of an unsafe situation. [AMZ-152]
Resources and Support:
National Domestic Violence Hotline – National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse. The Hotline can expect highly-trained, expert advocates to offer free, confidential, and compassionate support, crisis intervention information, education, and referral services in over 200 languages.
Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network’s (RAINN) National Sexual Assault Online Hotline – RAINN provides offers 24/7 confidential support and local resources to care for survivors of sexual assault.
Love is Respect – Love is Respect offers 24/7 information, support, and advocacy to young people between the ages of 13 and 26 who have questions or concerns about their romantic relationships. They provide support to concerned friends and family members, teachers, counselors, and other service providers through the same free and confidential services via phone, text, and live chat.
Break the Cycle – Break the Cycle supports young people 12 – 24 to build healthy relationships and create a culture without abuse. They center young people, caring adults, and communities in their prevention and intervention efforts.
Youth
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) happens when one person tries to control their partner in a close relationship. There are warning signs that a relationship might become unhealthy or even violent. These signs include when your partner makes fun of you, doesn’t want to find solutions together, never says sorry, blames you for things that go wrong, gets overly jealous, or wants to control what you wear and who you hang out with. IPV can take different forms, like hurting you physically, making you feel bad emotionally, controlling your money, forcing you to do sexual things, or following/harassing you. It’s also considered IPV if someone makes their partner do sexual things without agreeing to it.
No matter how it happens, intimate partner violence is all about one person trying to control their partner in a relationship, and that’s never okay. Remember, it’s never the fault of the person who’s being hurt. Someone who truly cares about you would never hurt you physically, control you, make you do things you don’t want to, or make you feel bad about yourself. A caring person would treat you with respect and kindness. If you’re facing this kind of situation, it’s really important to get help and find a safe place. You might even want to make a plan to stay safe.
If someone you care about is going through intimate partner violence (IPV), they might reach out to you or might not even realize that what they’re experiencing is abuse. It’s really important to be understanding and not blame them for what their partner is doing to them. Sometimes, they might not be ready to leave the relationship, and that’s okay – leaving can be really complicated.
There are many reasons why they might stay, like needing help with important things such as food, a place to live, school expenses, and more. Sometimes, they might have pets they can’t bear to leave behind. Even though it might be hard to understand from the outside, there are real reasons that make leaving difficult.
Your support is crucial. You can offer a listening ear, provide resources, and suggest they talk to a counselor or social worker who can help them figure things out and find a safe path forward. Just being there for them can make a big difference.
FAQs
Test your knowledge
Parents
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) occurs when one person seeks to control their partner within an intimate relationship. There are signs that can indicate an unhealthy relationship, which might escalate into IPV. These warning signs include making hurtful comments, being unwilling to find common ground, never admitting to mistakes, placing blame during difficult times, showing excessive jealousy, or trying to control various aspects of shared activities, such as your clothing choices or social interactions.
IPV can show up in various ways, such as physical, emotional, financial, sexual, and even stalking or harassment. It’s important to recognize that sexual abuse is also a form of IPV, which involves pressuring a person into engaging in sexual acts without their consent. No matter how intimate partner violence shows up, its main goal is to control a partner within a relationship, and that’s never acceptable. Remember, the person being hurt is never to blame.
That’s why it’s crucial to serve as an askable adult to support your young person. This could even include creating a safety plan to ensure your young person’s well-being. It is important to remind your young person that there is support available such as hotlines and local resources within your area to help them through this difficult situation. These resources can also help to support you, their trusted adult, better support and get them to safety.
Here are some ways to start these conversations:
If you are watching a show or movie and there is a scene with either healthy or unhealthy relationship behaviors, you can use this opportunity to start a discussion. Point out what you see, and ask what your child thinks about that.
When they mention friends or classmates that have romantic partners, you can then use this time to talk about healthy relationship qualities and behaviors.
Educators
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) refers to a situation where one person seeks to control their partner within a close relationship. There are warning signs that may indicate an unhealthy relationship, which could potentially develop into IPV. These signs include a partner making hurtful jokes, avoiding compromise, never taking responsibility, placing blame on you during tough times, being overly possessive or controlling over your shared activities, such as your clothing choices or social interactions.
IPV can take various forms, such as physical, emotional, financial, sexual, and even stalking or harassment. It’s essential to understand that sexual abuse is also a type of IPV, involving pressuring a partner into engaging in sexual activities without their agreement. It’s important for educators to help students recognize these patterns and provide them with the knowledge to navigate relationships in a healthy and respectful manner.
For students, it’s important to recognize that seeking assistance, distancing oneself from an abusive partner, and ensuring personal safety are all vital steps. Developing a safety plan could also be beneficial. If a student is experiencing IPV, it’s crucial to confide in a trusted adult, whether it’s a parent, guardian, an older relative, a close family friend, or a friend’s parent. Educators can play a critical role in helping students comprehend these important aspects and providing them with the support they need.
Most communities, depending on where you live, have domestic violence shelters, sexual assault support organizations, and community-based organizations that focus on gender-based violence, which includes IPV. As a class exercise, educators can have students look online for those resources by searching their zip code to find help and resources in your area.
National Sex Ed Standards
Describe the characteristics of healthy versus unhealthy relationships among friends and with family members
Compare and contrast the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships
Identify situations that may be uncomfortable or dangerous (e.g., bullying, teasing, child sexual abuse)
Identify community resources and/or other sources of support, such as trusted adults, including parents and caregivers, that students can go to if they are or someone they know is being sexually harassed, abused, assaulted, exploited, or trafficked
Describe the types of abuse (e.g., physical, emotions, psychological, financial, and sexual) and the cycle of violence as it relates to sexual abuse, domestic violence, dating violence, and gender-based violence
Explain why a victim/survivor of interpersonal violence, including sexual violence, is never to blame for the actions of the perpetrator
International Technical Guidance on Sexuality Education
Discussion Questions
- What are some examples of behaviors (red flags) that might signal a relationship is unhealthy?
- What are some things you can do if you feel like a relationship is not healthy?
- What is one example of an intimate partner violence resource or organization?
- What can a person do if they think they might be dealing with an intimate partner or teen dating violence?
- Who could you contact if you, or a friend, were dealing with an unhealthy relationship, intimate partner or teen dating violence?
