Still Family: Adoption

Some pregnant people decide to give birth and place their baby for adoption. The process of adoption is when you give birth and then choose someone else to parent your child. Adoption is a legal process when you agree to place your child in the care of another person or family permanently. In many cases, this agreement cannot be reversed or changed. The decision is personal and only the pregnant person knows what’s best for them.

Pregnant people have different reasons why they might choose adoption. Some of the different reasons people decide to place a child for adoption include: they’re not ready to be a parent, they can’t afford to raise a child, they want to finish school before parenting, they’re in an abusive relationship or were sexually assaulted, or they just don’t want to be a parent right now.

Support from trusted adults can also help you figure out if adoption is right for you. Talking with your partner, someone in your family, a friend, a religious advisor, or a counselor can be helpful when you’re making a choice about pregnancy options. It’s good to choose people who you know are supportive and non-judgemental.

There are different types of adoption, and depending on where you live there are different rules and laws for adoption. One type of adoption is a closed adoption, this is when the birth parents and adoptive parents have little or no information about each other and do not stay in contact. Some people choose a closed adoption for privacy reasons and they may or may not tell the child about the adoption as they get older. In an open adoption, the child always knows about the adoption. In an open adoption the birth parents and adoptive parents meet and share information about each other before the adoption and after the adoption they may communicate a lot or a little.

In the US, open adoptions are the most common type of adoption. Some people adopt children from the same racial or ethnic background, others adopt children that are different from them-this is often called a transracial adoption. There are also international adoptions when a family from one country adopts a child from another country.

People who have been adopted have a wide range of feelings, and these feelings might develop over time as they get older. It is normal for a person who has been adopted to have conflicting feelings about both their birth and adoptive parents. Emotions like love, gratitude, anger, longing, shame, abandonment, and loss can often exist at the same time. Some people are interested to know more about their birth parents as they get older, and some are never curious; both are normal and okay. Some people who are adopted seek out relationships with their birth parents, and others do not. This is a very personal decision, and only the person who is adopted knows what is best for them.

It’s really normal for a person to have a lot of different feelings about all aspects of adoption. Lots of people who choose adoption are happy knowing that their child is living with a family who loves and cares for them. Some people find that the sense of loss is deeper than they expected. Families who adopt might feel sad or hurt if an adoptive child wants a relationship with their birth parents. Having many different feelings after adoption is very common, a person’s feelings might be complicated for a while, and change over time.

Talking with a counselor who’s experienced with adoption and talking with other people who’ve been through adoption can give you support and help you work through your decision and emotions, both during and after the adoption process. There can be lots of stuff to consider when thinking about adoption, and it’s totally normal to have many different feelings and thoughts when making your decision.